


Mercy

by Falling_Future



Category: DreamSMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, mcyt
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Injury, Bloodvines Arc, Dark, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Guilt, Hallucinations, Manipulation, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Horror, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Trauma, also sorry if the egg is really mean to tubbo in this I don’t believe anything it says, basically it calls him a bad friend and how trauma is bad and he deserved bad things, but to clarify I don’t actually think that I’m just having him suffer emotionally, eggpire arc, its blatantly not true but that’s the point, this is my first time writing dream smp btw sorry if it’s not the best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29069055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falling_Future/pseuds/Falling_Future
Summary: To grant one mercy, is to relieve them of all their strife.He wants mercy from the dull ache in his bloodied head, mercy from the stale air choking his withered lungs, and mercy from those who wish to keep him here.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 66





	Mercy

Tubbo made a mistake.

They happen all the time, little instances and mishaps that results in the soft-spoken boy murmuring an apology or quickly correcting it before whatever damage, no matter how insignificantly small, can fester into something far beyond his control. With little mistakes, there was always some sense of control, something he’s only ever truly experienced by leading L’manberg, and even then that control slipped through his fingers because of an unrepairable mistake.

It was by no means selfish to desire some form of control over his life, Tubbo would take what little inklings he can get just to keep himself stable, nothing more than a teetering house on rickety support beams that threatens to collapse at the lightest gust of wind. He’s spent a majority of his life taking orders, some he was fine with- after all Wilbur was once a great man- a great _ leader.  _ And ever since he served under Schlatt’s reign, after being treated like some lapdog errand boy up until he was repaid by decorating his own execution site, being president was the one sense of  _ his  _ own control that he had.

_ Or so he thought. _

_ And that’s where his biggest mistake comes in. _

Even now with the back of his head  _ pulsing,  _ demanding it be tended to as his vision blurs into a sea of red, he can’t help but recall the stark, contrasting green of his current location.  _ Dream.  _ He had been the reason for all this madness, had been the one to drive a wedge between him and his beloved friend, to sentence him to  _ exile _ without another thought. Tubbo allowed the man’s lies and manipulation to sink its claws into him, corrupting him from the inside out. Although in hindsight, there probably wasn’t that much left to corrupt…

If Dream hadn’t intervened, hadn’t gotten bored with whatever doings an alleged supernatural entity does, and gain enjoyment out of tormenting the lives of others, then perhaps he wouldn’t have tripped down those stairs. An odd thing to place the blame on, but as the mossy dirt clings to his cheek, pausing between each rattling breath as warm, humid air fills his lungs, he gets the sense that this wouldn’t be happening right now.

__ You deserved it.  
  


The brunette stiffens at the sudden voice, forcing himself up with aching joints. He stifles a groan, blinking rapidly as the sudden movement makes his head  _ spin.  _ Tubbo half expected to pass out, but the boy called upon his will- or more accurately, the  _ terror _ that had settled into his heart to bring himself to his feet. It was as though an anchor had dropped into the pit of his stomach, weighing him down and forcing him to stagger. His head swivels from side to side, paranoia ever growing much like the creeping vines that have coated the room in a rich shade of crimson.

“What?” A pair of frightened blue eyes wander in search of the phantom voice, only to come up with nothing. 

The one thing that instilled a sense of  _ wrongness  _ through him in the form of a shiver, was the massive, oval shaped monument that was quivering in the distance. The egg was shifting rhythmically, the thing clearly alive but unknown to what it’s contents were. Was there really anything in there to begin with? Or was some alien parasite lurking within the structure?

_ “We said you deserved that.”  _

Tubbo whips his head around to face the stairway he had tumbled down, his small mistake that could reap catastrophic repercussions staring back. There, standing just at his only escape, were two figures. They stood slack, as if just being in the presence of the egg made them calm. In fact, one looked more elated than the other, a smile once cheery and genuine now twisted and warped into something with maniacal purposes lurking behind.

The voice came from an expressionless bipedal cat, blank red eyes staring down upon the young teen. His pupils, which were normally slits, dilate eagerly while his expression remains unchanging, as if the egg were filtering an idea into his head that would please the both of them. Tubbo knew that whatever had made Antfrost reveal any form of excitement, can’t spell anything good. And Bad’s expression only seemed to reflect that, an uncharacteristic sense of smugness beaming from the demon’s smile.

Obviously, they wanted to trap him here. He didn’t need some evil space egg to invade his mind and tell him the pair’s intentions. They haven’t been very subtle about it either, spreading propaganda around the land, letting the vines spread while inditing new members into their cult like worship, and it looks as though the two,  _ the egg,  _ had intentions of wanting to  _ keep _ the boy.

_ “You know,”  _ The dark figure’s voice raises in pitch ever so slightly, cocking his head to the side as he takes a single step towards Tubbo, empty white eyes looming down upon him. “This is... _ so great.” _

“Perfect,” Ant mutters softly behind him, watching the boy’s expression grow more confused and horrified. 

“Don’t you mean,  _ purr-fect? _ ” The demon couldn’t help but crack a joke, a faint sliver of what he had once been before the egg tainted him. The smile quickly falls however, his focus back on the boy attempting to back away from the duo.

_ It doesn’t matter. Another blow to the head and the boy will succumb to his injuries. _

Bad silently thanks his divine, all knowing god for providing him with such splendid knowledge that Tubbo would inevitably pass out from the wounds he sustained from falling down the stairs. But...that was the easy way, wasn’t it? And the egg prefers a far gentler approach to having new members over crude violence. Maybe the  _ methods _ weren’t that delicate, sure, but at least the egg didn’t just want to force it’s next disciple and be done with it. The progression needed to be a steady trickle, a lifeline that one must cling to before it became second nature to them.

Tubbo clutches the back of his head, something sticky making contact with the skin. A wince leaves the boy once picks up on just what the copper scent was. He mutters a silent curse for not wearing a helmet of some kind, trying not to trip over himself as he takes another step back from the menacing figures.

“Wh-Why is it perfect?” 

“Because-“ The demon’s voice cracks as he steps closer. “You’re just what we need.”

The brunette tilts his head. “What? I...I don’t…” 

_ Just what they need? What does that entail?  _ He couldn’t have any significance in this hellish cult of theirs, just another lamb to the slaughter. Another chess piece swiped off the board and now in possession of the opponent... _ a pawn in every round. _

A giggle fills the space, too soft to be considered anywhere near comforting like Bad was trying to mimic. His tail flicks and curves inward, the sharpened tip bouncing to and fro. He closes in on the shorter figure, not needing the egg to know of the fear that had struck deep within. He had always been slightly off putting, even before his corruption. It never came out often, but everyone has a breaking point, and when filled with enough rage, petty vengeance ensues.

But here, the demon was as void of rage as he was of the red that once accented his cloak. And as he leers over Tubbo, the poor, trapped soul can’t help but yearn for the times where him and Tommy would be running some get-rich-quick scheme and intentionally getting on the demon’s last nerve. Was this some kind of retribution? Does the egg even desire vengeance?

“Isn’t it obvious?” The dark figure blinks slowly, eyes glowing in revelation. He’d please the egg, make it as content as possible. As of recently, the egg has had a desire besides consumption and corruption. It was the wish of one to perish, one who is not swayed by the egg’s influence. “We’re here to help you and Tommy!”

And that, causes his brow to furrow.

What on earth was he talking about? “I’ll be honest-“ Tubbo glances around the room, gaze intentionally avoiding the egg in the corner. “Your guys’ version of helping doesn’t seem to be very uhm- well you know,  _ stable. _ ”

Bad frowns at that. “Not stable?” It isn’t before long, that Ant joins him by his side, ears perked and claws unsheathed  _ just  _ in case tubbo gets any ideas about a slippery escape. “Tubbo, this is as great as we’ve ever felt!”

_ “You’re being mind controlled!”  _ He retorts before another throbbing pain attacks him, colorful spots filling his vision. He hated to admit it, but seeing a color that wasn’t red gave him temporary relief, even at the expense of a possible concussion. “O-Of course you’re going to...t-t….” 

He swallows before taking in another breath, whether it be to get oxygen flow to his head or just to keep his composure, he takes in air. It was by no means clean, in fact he could practically feel the tiny spores of the vines on his tongue. It was  _ vile _ to swallow again, the rusty metallic taste in the back of his throat reminding him of the blood on his hand. 

_ But was it really blood? _

Shakily, he brings his hand back down, gasping as he stumbles over a vine in the process. Thankfully he has a much softer landing, a swathe of vines and moss to cradle his fall. Ironic considering another strike could possibly make him lose consciousness and the vines would win, but he’ll silently thank whatever stroke of sheer luck had just occurred. However, when a set of blue eyes rest upon its opposite, tubbo freezes.

_ It’s red. _

But...it’s always been red! Blood has always been red-  _ his blood  _ has always been that color! So why was he...so unsettled by that idea? That inside of him, was  _ red.  _ It made his stomach  _ wretch _ , to have this  _ parasite  _ wriggle it’s way into him. Or perhaps it’s lied dormant all this time considering how it’s  _ always  _ been red, and that this was the egg’s perfect chance to grasp at an easy picking.

_ If it’s always been red, then… _

“You were always meant to love the egg!”

_ “H-Huh?” _ He blinks up in surprise at the duo, their words fallen on deaf ears. Bad seems to take notice of Tubbo’s lack of attention, and in one swift movement hauls him back onto his feet. He falls, landing on the demon before a clawed hand pushes him back.

“Stay still.” Antfrost huffs under his breath, a trident manifesting from thin air and into his clawed grip. Much to his and Bad’s delight, he does as told. With assistance from the egg of course.

“No I- What did you s-“ The brunette nearly gags as something gives beneath his foot, a loud squelching sound coming from behind him. The sudden lack of balance forces him to hold out his arms, trying to keep himself steady or grab onto  _ anything  _ for support. He had just crafted those boots! Now they were coated in that sickly red hunk he despises so much. 

“You know what?” Tubbo casts a glare at the two, anger beginning to spark within him. “I think I’m just gonna go!”

“No you’re not-“ 

Upon Bad’s snide comment, he attempts to free himself, sharply tugging on his trapped foot. Something... _ snags _ on his ankle, and his heart begins to race once more. “Wait, why am I-“ He glances over his shoulder, tugging more harshly and met with even harsher resistance. He cries aloud in pain when whatever was holding him back  _ squeezes _ the appendage, Tubbo just barely able to spot a series of sprawling vines clasped tightly around him.

“The egg doesn’t want you to leave.” It was stated as a plain and simple fact, like a teacher explaining a basic question to a naive student. The boy flinches from the pat on his head, a sharp toothed grin coming into his sights as Bad looks him over before setting his sights back on the egg. 

The demon stops for a moment, head snapping towards the colossal crimson form in the far corner, his eyes wide and dazed. Silence fills the room, save for a struggling Tubbo while the two are completely transfixed on this terrible egg. He can only assume it’s speaking to them, instructing them on what to do next with him while his desperate attempts grow more and more futile.

_ “Please!”  _ Is what he ends up crying out, fear devolving into panic as Bad and Ant finally return their blank eyed stares back to him. One moment, he was slightly worried about a few vines he just thought he could pull off like roots, but not even five minutes of being trapped he’d rather beg and scream for help than stay caught within their right hold. In fact, the thought of slicing his own damn ankle off flashes briefly through his mind, but it’s quickly dismissed.

_ Quite pathetic. Desiring to inflict more trauma upon yourself. _

Tubbo’s shaky gasps come to a brief halt as he looks around for the mysterious third voice that taunts him. It comes from all around, but the two men before him don’t seem to react to it, just continue to smile and watch him suffer. 

“C-C’mon guys!” He already knows it’s a losing battle, that he can tear his throat to shreds, but if the egg commanded it, they would only  _ watch.  _

“Tubbo does this hurt you?”

_ “Yes!”  _ He shouts.

“Do you not like it when you make the egg do this?”

Again, an obvious answer. “Obviously!” What game were they playing at? Did they want him to suffer more? Is that what the egg wanted? But why? What had he even done that warranted this being to be so spiteful and cruel towards him? 

A silent pause hangs in the air, Bad and Antfrost exchanging looks before speaking.

“Do you want it to stop?”

“Do I-  _ What? _ ” 

He wasn’t quite sure what they had meant by that. It didn’t hurt  _ that  _ bad, but the thought of this thing gripping onto him is what incited the revoltion in the first place. 

“To stop hurting-“ The cat clarifies, a singular claw gently tapping the boy’s forehead, bangs clinging to his skin from perspiration. “To stop all the pain at once.”

“Y...You’re not going to  _ sacrifice _ me, are you?”

_ “No-“  _ Bad rolls his eyes, a playful tone in his voice. “We want you to feel great! Tubbo, you know all that icky trauma you have? We can make it go away-  _ the egg  _ can make it all disappear!” Bad extends his arms out as if to make some grand gesture of the infested room, showing off his foul masterpiece.

“My...my what?” He wasn’t denying it. He’s had many sleepless nights even when the nights at Snowchester  _ weren’t _ freezing cold. 

And even then he’s caught himself muttering in his sleep or jolting awake from a bad nightmare, too terrified to fall asleep out of fear of his dreams and the waking world blending together. His grip on reality remained firm, but there were times where his mind had slipped, where apathy took over and he simply went...blank. At some points his mind couldn’t tolerate to take it all in, so he shuts it down whenever the situation called for it, speaking only in short sentences to get his point across. He did it during the final fall of L’manberg and nobody really noticed...not to mention his brush with the end in the battle with Dream. But Dream was gone now, locked away in a cell that  _ was a boat ride away from his new nation. _

_ You know it’ll be better this way. _

“What...is that?” The single voice was becoming a bit of a nuisance now, Bad and Ant looking around simultaneously.

“What’s what?”

“That...that  _ voice! _ ” Tubbo reaffirms, rubbing the side of his head to fight off another wave of aching. “It keeps...saying these odd things to me...it’s being quite mean, actually.”

“Oh you mean the egg!” Bad corrects with a chirp, glad that his divine savior had made some kind of imprint on him. The seeds had been planted, now all they had to do was nurture and grow them as fast as possible. “See? It wants to take away all the bad thoughts too!”

“You mean like...my memories?”

Bad hums before shrugging his shoulders. “Kind of. Not really erasing them, more like...tucking them away into a box and pushing it into the basement.”

“Yeah that’s a good way to put it!” Ant chimes in. “It’ll still be there, but they’ll be so far away that you’ll come out sparkling new.”

“Uhm- I don’t think I...want that.” Like hell he was going to listen to anything these two lunatics were trying to offer, and considering the egg was a real issue, joining it would be a ridiculous move.

“Of course you do Tubbo!” The demon boy tsks as he finally helps the brunette out of the hole his ankle had slipped into, the vines relinquishing their ironclad grip on him, leaving behind painful welts. “Everyone has a desire, and the egg’s job is to accomplish it so that you no longer have any!”

“Have no...desires?”

“Why do you keep asking-“ When Antfrost tries to finish, his body tenses up, muscles spasming and jerking before he relaxes with a shudder, pinkish red eyes lacking any emotion once more. “Any and all desire will be eradicated. The egg’s wishes will become your wishes.”

“I’d really,  _ really _ prefer it if they didn’t!” He squeaks, his breath quickening. Blue eyes dart about wildly for any chance of escape. A hole in the ceiling? There was one near the egg! Ah, but that led to a trap made from obsidian, and he didn’t have the proper tools to mine through it. Maybe he could mine through a wall? That might take too long, and he wouldn’t know how to distract the pair long enough before they’d notice. Not to mention the egg has some sort of sentience, meaning one wrong move could have him ensnared once again.

“We know it’s hard accepting your trauma- accepting that your former self was a  _ horrible, selfish  _ being corrupt from the inside out. But come with us, form your new skin and love the egg.” A paw reaches out in Tubbo’s direction, open and extended as if they were anticipating him to take it.

_ “I said no!”  _ It comes out as a shriek this time, Ant’s words having pierced him like sizzling iron. Never again did he want to listen in on rumors and gossip about L’manberg and it’s politicians being corrupt, that it was a lost cause...that it was  _ ran by a stupid, easily manipulated boy. _

_ And he especially doesn’t want to acknowledge that it’s partially true. _

“Why deny it?” Bad counters, his voice raising but the elation never leaving. “Take a look at what you did! Do you  _ seriously _ want that to be the rest of your life? To be haunted by what you’ve done forever?”

“I...I have to learn from my mistakes-” Tubbo’s voice cracks, quick to shut down the rebuttal. A sniffle breaks through, the boy wiping his eyes with his sleeve. There was certainly something wet glossing over in his eyes, but he couldn’t reveal his tears, display his  _ weakness  _ to those who wished to overpower him.

“And who told you that, hm?” The cat circles around Tubbo, slitted eyes flicking about, as if studying their soon to be newest disciple. He tucks his paws behind his back, slinking on his toes as he leans inward, a fanged grin on his face. “ _ Schlatt? Wilbur? _ They  _ wanted  _ you to believe that, Tubbo. It’s the only way they’d get you to join in on their silly game.”

Tubbo couldn’t help but recall the character of a grinning cat who had a tendency to vanish...about a wandering girl full of curiosity who fell down a rabbit hole and wound up lost in a twisted world… Still, he couldn’t let their words sway him...even if...Schlatt was a reason for him needing to own up to his mistakes.

He should’ve gone with Wilbur, shouldn’t he? He made a great spy, but at what cost? The man who was once a great leader of a fine nation had spiraled into paranoia, because of  _ him. _

_ Wilbur destroyed L’manberg because of you. He wanted to watch you- _

“No he didn’t!” The loud cry even captured the disbelief of a slightly confused Bad and Ant, the latter of who had which backed away from Tubbo. That simply wasn’t true, right? He couldn’t have been the cause for Wilbur’s madness...but the way Tommy describes it...how Tubbo never made himself appear trustworthy in Wilbur’s eyes...even  _ after _ the festival Wilbur disregarded him as someone with nowhere to go after he was thrown out by his “other friends”.

“He...he didn’t….” The shout degraded into a tiny whimper, the brunette now shaking, his buckling legs going unnoticed even as he drops to his knees, staring at his hands. His palms were coated in blood... _ they always have been. _

_ Always coated in red. _

_ It’s your destiny. _

Tubbo lifts his head up, trying to shake away the voice that grows louder with each lie. _ “No!” _ He barks, looking out at the pair,  _ past them _ and at some invisible force. His distant gaze wasn't even focused on the egg, but rather, a set of stairs, his one chance, his only hope, a staircase that stretched on and on, surrounded by obstacles.

“He didn’t what, Tubbo?” Bad feigns sympathy as he crouches beside the panicking figure, the teen flinching when a hand falls onto his shoulder. It wasn’t comforting in the slightest, not the delicate touch of a friend wishing the best for them, but a manipulator who strived to pull him to their side even if they’d have to break him down and force the pieces back together.

_ It’s what dream did to tommy. _

_ It’s what you did to him. _

Another sharp cry is forced from his throat, unsure what he was even attempting to do. Startle the two? Drown out the god awful voice filling his head with truths he’s turned a blind eye to?

“The longer you resist the egg the more it’ll remind you.”

“R...remind me…?”

By this point, the boy’s lip was quivering, the occasional shiver rushing down his spine as if he had been tossed into the bay of Snowchester and plopped back into the snowy ground. He stutters before it falls into a pitiful croak, nails digging into the red colored vines, his own blood soaking into the egg’s corruption. He needed something to cling to, even if it was this horrid being that fully intended on  _ torturing  _ him until he relented. But he had to fight! He had to remember that it wasn’t true and-

Something makes Tubbo shudder again, eyes once again turning wide as the color drains from his face. It was familiar, the memory being muddled akin to a painting, the details mostly there but not quite right. What he hears loud and clearly however, is his _own_ _voice._ His near insane laughter, the absolute _spite_ towards his allies, and the venom filled speech he gave to his closest friend before uttering his last words to Tommy, _before_ they both came back changed, an order for him to be escorted out of L’manberg.

He gags. 

He felt as though he had just been fed something repulsive disguised as a gourmet meal, desperate to expel the contents as quickly as possible-  _ he wants it to stop so bad.  _ It wouldn’t let up, like a broken record, doomed to repeat itself just as history had, the boy finding the idea of nails on a chalkboard to be considered music to his ears over  _ this.  _

_ “Dream, please escort Tommy out of-“ _

_ “Dream please esc- _

_ “Drea-“ _

Every time every  _ single  _ time he tries to push it back with a loud thought, a song, the  _ pain  _ plaguing his head, it grows in volume tenfold, drowning out any attempts to rid himself of the phrase.  _ He  _ had given the order,  _ he  _ had told  _ Dream  _ of all people to handle Tommy’s exile. He should’ve seen it coming, should have pulled back the curtain to show a disgusting display of lies and manipulation.

Tubbo spent all his time wallowing in the fact that Tommy despised him, that Dream filled him in on how Tommy thought of him while in reality that  _ damn bastard  _ was the one who played both sides, to try and put them against each other-  _ destroy each other.  _

_ So why does he still want to take the blame? _

It was his fault, wasn’t it? He was a fool for listening to Dream, for believing for a second that he’d respect the same nation he tried to take down. He sided with Wilbur, helped him get what the deranged man needed for his plot against L’manberg! Even Schlatt’s words began to ring true, of being a  _ naive, useless idiot that believes anything he’s told. _

_ You hurt him.  _

It calls to him like a gentle breeze this time, trying to deliver the heart wrenching news in the kindest tone possible. It was motherly, in a sense, something he could fall back on to soften the blow.

_ You hurt Tommy. _

Tubbo couldn’t take it anymore.

Three words had him spiral into a fit of ear piercing screams, voice quickly growing hoarse as he curls up on himself. The only distinctive pause, was the series of coughing and  _ wrenching  _ that bubbles up from his chest, wanting to purge whatever was inside him, whatever trauma- whatever  _ evil  _ still lingered there that had made him even think for a second his best friend was worth more than an already broken nation.

It’s strange, how he can feel claws rake at his back, trying to pull him back up in between mournful sobs and manage to tell the difference between Bad and Antfrost. One set barely grazed the skin, save for a scratch or two, mostly piercing the fabric of his clothing, while curved needles poked and prodded into his skin, latching on and jerking hard to force him to sit up.

He takes his first breath of  _ “fresh”  _ air from having buried his face so close to the ground, chest heaving and cheeks stained with hot tears before his gorge rises once more. He just wants to get it over with,  _ wants to throw up and go home.  _ He misses his bed, he misses Ranboo, misses Snowchester... _ misses Tommy. _

_...he hurt Tommy. _

The realization makes his breathing come to a steady slow, the tears welling back up in spite of it. He trembles, the eggpire’s disciples trying to shout their way into his head, to get through to the still boy in some way. His gaze remains distant, too wet to even see through the blur of red. Tubbo honestly wasn’t sure when the point between when Bad and Ant fell silent and the ringing had started, but it was  _ worse  _ than any of the pain and grief his head injury had caused him not too long ago. 

He wants to take back falling down the stairs, wants to take back exiling Tommy,  _ take back becoming Schlatt’s right hand man… _

_ Maybe if all of it were gone...things would be different! _

No- No, he couldn’t afford to think like that! Tommy still cares for him...doesn’t he? 

_ You’re more useless than those cheap pieces of plastic he drove himself mad over. _

That was his fault too, wasn’t it? Because if Tommy was still in L’manberg, if Tubbo hadn’t  _ betrayed him,  _ then he’d have no need to obsess over the discs...he wouldn’t still have remnants of gross conditioning performed by Dream during his exile. In fact, his intimidation alone made it so that Tubbi didn’t want to visit him.

_ You made him think he wants nothing to do with you. _

No, Dream did that, did he not? Just because Tubbo never visited Tommy in Logstedshire doesn’t mean… 

His thoughts trail off as he’s shoved hard by Bad, crashing back into reality but not before something dawns on him. He  _ could  _ have visited Tommy. He had plenty chance to. Dream didn’t even  _ care _ about L’manberg, all of it flattery and lies so he could get his hands on the other disc, to just have more  _ leverage  _ again.

“Tubbo?” A curious demon pokes him on the shoulder with a finger while Ant waves a paw in front of the teary boy. “Tubbo, you okay?”

For what feels like an eternity, there’s silence. And it isn’t until Bad draws in a breath to ask again does he respond, voice low and hushed.

“...even before it I knew.”

“Before what?” Antfrost’s tail perks up curiously, the pair sensing that the egg was having a rather intense effect on him.

“I knew that….” Slowly, his head lowers, an ocean colored gaze that turned dull with rolling waves looking at the ground. But Tubbo wasn’t looking at the red in front of him. No, he was looking at the red  _ past him, within him.  _ “That two discs would have treated my friend better than I ever could.”

That statement held merit to it. Tubbo was fully ready to lay down his life for Tommy’s sake, for those damned discs they’ve fought tooth and nail to be in their possession again. Even if Tommy proved over and over that he didn’t want Tubbo to go, that he was  _ nothing  _ without him- deep down he always figured Tommy would do well enough on his own. 

So what the  _ fuck  _ had Tubbo done to make Tommy so reliant towards him?

He took his clever, witty, strong willed friend and snapped their relationship over his knee before shipping him off with a dangerous man to torment him for weeks on end. Tommy was but a mere shell when he came back, being puppeteered by an extremist after Dream wasn’t enough apparently. L’manberg deserved to be destroyed, he deserved to have two  _ discs  _ of all things be more valuable than his own life because at least  _ then  _ those discs could provide Tommy some sort of happiness and relief whereas Tubbo...Tubbo has done the opposite.

“Tubbo,” Bad doesn’t bother to address his lack of sympathy. But at least he could take his opening and grasp at it. “That’s not-“

_ “I’m not!”  _

“Wha?”

Both disciples were stunned from the sudden scream after being given a few minutes of peace and quiet, the brunette resorting to rocking back and forth while repeating  _ “I’m not”  _ under his breath.

“Not what?” Ant starts, poking tubbo’s back with his tail tip, the fur grazing along part of the spine before pulling back. “Not-“

“-not like him I’m not like him  _ I’m not like him!” _

“Of course you’re not like him!” Antfrost looks on in confusion at Bad’s proclamation, the demon only offering his partner a smile as he leans in to drape his arms over the sniveling boy in a comforting hug. From how it was phrased, Bad had no clue what Tubbo was referring to either. “Because you’re going to know better now!” 

“I….I am?”

“Yep! The egg can make you know better and become  _ so much better. _ ” Joy returns to the cloaked figure’s voice, the tip of his wiry tail ever so gently making contact with the boy’s nose. “Don’t you- Don’t you  _ want _ to see what the egg can offer you?”

_ “It’s just been saying mean things!” _

“Well yeah, like I said, you’re resisting.”

“I’m...I…” Tubbo fumbles over his words, unable to deny it. He was pushing against the egg’s more  _ “loving”  _ side, and was kicking and clawing back at the truth of how horrid of a person he is. And now, an opportunity has opened itself before him like a set of golden doors, salvation just on the other side. “I don’t...m-mean to…” Yes he does! Of course he means to, why would he fight against the egg for nothing?

“Denial isn’t a good color.” Ant blinks once at Tubbo, his cryptic words grabbing the brunette’s attention.

“But red is!” Bad reiterates, patting his new friend on the shoulder. “Don’t you like the color red? Doesn’t it remind you of Tommy?”

_ “...Tommy....” _

The color did remind him of his dearest friend, of the red on a mostly white shirt that he’d spent nearly every day seeing. It was vibrant and almost  _ comforting  _ in a sort of way, a consistency he’d always get to have. The red was like a friend in of itself, that Tommy will never be too far gone, that no matter what changes, he’s still him.

_ But he took that away, didn’t he? _

“C’mere,” Both of the followers purr in unison. It takes Tubbo a moment to realize he’s being lifted off the ground, his legs nearly numb. But Bad and Ant persist, helping the boy take one step at a time towards…

His heart catches in his throat.

An agonized whine escpaes him, heels kicking at the dirt and vines as he tries to pull away from the source of the corruptible siren song. He doesn’t even want to  _ look  _ at the monolith of the egg towering over him the more close he gets. He begs, pleads with either of them but none of it seems to get through. He squeaks when a dark hand clutches tightly around his wrist, all of them but a few feet away from their so-called god.

“Don’t you want to listen to the egg?” The demon had a habit of ordering someone in a faux question, giving the illusion of choice. But that’s the best way to do it, right? Even the egg had told him he was doing a splendid job, but it still wasn’t enough.

Tubbo grunts against his captors, opting to ignore the pain in his wrist. “I’ve been listening to it! I-It’s just being rude!”

_ “No it’s not!”  _ Bad’s tail lashes back and forth, and with a movement that looks as though he had rolled his eyes, presses on. Tubbo’s constant shouting was becoming a bother, his ears ringing slightly from the high pitched sound. But the egg could fix that, and the egg could fix the boy too…

After an eternity of screaming and thrashing, in a jerky movement Tubbo’s hand is on the beautiful crimson shell of the egg, his palm immediately coated in a slimy substance. He grits his teeth at that, although he couldn’t help but notice that it was much warmer over here. Oh, it was certainly warm near the entrance, but he spent so long in a cold misery, being engulfed by tears that  _ burned  _ before feeling like icicles clinging to his skin, that this warmth was...welcoming.

“What’s it saying?” Antfrost peers his head between Bad and Tubbo, his pupils once again dilating. He was just as excited as the egg was to bring the boyinto the mix, but he couldn’t pinpoint the reasoning. Bad had spoken as if  _ he  _ knew why Tubbo held such importance to their cause, but perhaps he’d find out soon enough.

“It’s not-“ The boy hiccups, nearly breaking out into a cough from his shredded throat. “It’s not saying anything, it’s just….”

A pool of memories fall into his mind like soft, graceful waves, coming in careful strides rather than a huge crash. It was... _ relaxing,  _ a far better contrast to the horrid memories that flash in his mind without warning before sending him spiraling into some sort of panic attack. But this was not reminiscent of sleepless nights, of sweet relief from potions that can only  _ barely  _ remind him of a certain caravan. It was gentle, and despite the large walls surrounding them, Tubbo just adored his glory days of L’manberg.

He could picture Wilbur with  _ such  _ clarity, something that nearly makes him teary eyed once more. It was the Wilbur he had known  _ before  _ Schlatt had taken over, and even before Dream had instigated a war. His face was young, prideful, dark eyes full of life and warmth. The tattered remains that were his last few moments with him weren’t even present, but rather, pieces that had been restored to their former glory, a brother’s smile bright and beaming with hope.

_ He really just adores those crimson colored walls he spent a good portion of his life in… _

It’s reality that backhands him, the serenity plucked away in an instant. He blinks, mind stuttering to bring itself back to the present. “What’s-  _ Ah! _ ” He cringes in on himself as the throbbing pain returns with a vengeance to the back of his head, taking in another deep breath. 

“See?” Bad chimes, swiftly getting the boy’s attention. He had been the one to pull Tubbo’s hand away, to deprive him of his joy. “This is what the egg can offer you!” Was he finally going to understand? Would it sink in once and for all? “You looked so happy there, I…” He pauses with a chuckle, turning his head away from the dazed boy. “I almost didn’t wanna pull you away.”

“I...I guess it was... _ nice. _ ” He couldn’t lie about that, it was a relief that swallowed his chest. He had never felt  _ less  _ anxious in all his days, like the sorrow and grief were nonexistent within the egg’s domain. 

“Ooh  _ nice? _ ” The demon perks up at this, his partner’s ears flicking in surprise. They both glance at each other, Bad’s face absolutely ecstatic. “Yeah, it does feel nice, doesn’t it?”

“But I-“ Tubbo tries stepping back, opening his mouth to say that he can’t. He can’t fall into temptation, he can’t let his desires consume him. Because if he does, it’ll be the last time he’d  _ ever  _ get to indulge in them. “I c-“

His hand falls back onto the egg, and he can’t even recall if it was one of them or of his own volition.

Another memory, a more recent one, and it’s somehow even better than the last. The pleasant sensation was instant, inviting the humid warmth to surround his body as he stares up at the sun, shielding his face with a hand. He was sitting, aged wood being his source of comfort. He shifts, back pressing against the bench beneath the shady tree, a leaf or two falling from its thin branches while those that remained attached danced and swayed in the breeze. Which was strange considering there  _ wasn’t  _ one. Oh well, what did it matter to him? 

Tubbo looks out over the land, the builds in the forefront and the hills beyond- the  _ perfect _ view for sunsets. Beside him, was an object. It was a jukebox, one that looked to be well maintained. Yet... _ it was starving _ . It craved music, Tubbo could tell from a glance alone. It needed a disc, needed to create a sweet, beautiful symphony that would  _ never end _ . And the brunette could hear it, the song within his grasp but the notes never quite reaching their maximum potential, or simply fading out before he attempts to pick up the remnants again. 

His fingers curl, nails grazing ever so lightly on the wood as his stare turns more intense upon the box, as though it would suddenly hum to life with his song. 

_ He doesn’t want the song to end. _

Something was... _ missing _ , Tubbo had told himself. But this was a perfect slice of paradise! What could be lacking in such a lovely little rendezvous? He pushes the thought to the side, not wanting any obnoxious worries to get in the way of fond memories. He can recall laughter, a vital piece to his orchestra, accompanied by quiet murmurs, promises that would forever go unspoken. Wether it be early, dew coated mornings or starry night skies, Tubbo knew that one thing would always remain.

_ The red. _

It was a friend of his very own-  _ hadn’t he said that earlier? _ One that had always been there for him. The warped crimson bench was a greeting unlike any other, as if it were welcoming him back from spending all that time locked away in apathy. The soft, mossy ground was like that of walking along a sea of blankets, always sinking into it but paying no mind. It had been such a good friend to him, even he was undeserving. Even the vine covered tree had something to offer him, beautiful shroomlight to illuminate his constellation filled nights. 

The bench always gave and gave, but he never returned the favor.

And now, an ache tugs at his heart for not playing the jukebox, for always pushing away at the vines that threatened to curl up around him.

_ It just wanted to help. _

It sounded propostrous, that one’s trauma could just disappear in the blink of an eye. But the egg was beyond this earth, wasn’t it? It could do things that even  _ Dream  _ himself couldn’t begin to comprehend. But...it was being held back. It desires to grow, to spread its love and purity across the land until the warm, comforting red is a new tidal wave of history. In fact, why even bother with history? The egg was a new era, a new  _ world, a needed reset to the filth and corruption that had occurred on the soil beforehand. _

All this time, it was just trying to shun his trauma, trauma he shouldn’t have had, that he doesn’t  _ deserve  _ in the slightest. The egg wants to bring about peace... _ to bring about sound of mind… _

_ Such young blood...broken and bent. Having to make decisions you shouldn’t… Allow someone else to take the reigns, why don’t you?  _

There’s a short hum as a response, Tubbo slowly being pulled from the sacred memory that had been tainted by those damned vines. It was slow, plucking it away piece by piece only to be replaced with another vine, with more bright, velvety crimson consuming his thoughts. He could picture the land coated in it, everyone tangled in vines but  _ oh so relaxed _ . He could picture the egg at the very center, having grown in size and thanking its wonderful followers for believing in it. 

Tubbo was generally an affectionate person, so why was he being so greedy when it came to the egg? It had shown  _ him  _ affection, so why not give what it wants most from him?

There was still one thing  _ gnawing  _ at him, preventing him from giving in entirely. He...he almost  _ wanted  _ to just abandon the thought, to dive into the pool of scarlet and just let  _ it  _ handle things for awhile. He wasn’t fit to be a leader, or a friend. A disciple-  _ pawn  _ was a much better role for him, he decides. 

And when the familiar voice rings into his head, he’s hauled back from the simulation of what the earth could become.

_ “Tubbo’s not a fuckin’ pawn!” _

It was distinct, clear. The voice had come from some deep part of his subconscious, a part screaming not to give in, to remember what he was against this egg for! 

But that’s the missing piece.

_ Tommy. _

As soon as the happiness had come, the opposite trampled over his mind. His smile falls, dismay painting his features as he pulls his hand away from the shell. The action surprises Bad and Antfrost, the two asking him what happened. And for a near minute, he doesn’t respond, simply staring blankly at the egg, at the bliss he shouldn’t be rewarded. 

“T-“

_ “I can’t enjoy it.”  _ His voice was flat, lacking any form of emotion while not even bothering to turn to the other two disciples. “Not with the knowledge of what a horrid friend I was. I...need to-“ It was clear the egg had sunk into some part of the boy’s mind, lingering there and waiting for an opening to strike. “I need to... _ make Tommy happy. _ ”

There’s the sound of a tongue click followed by a contemplative hum, the demon rearing back from Tubbo. “Tommy,  _ Huh? _ ”

“Yeah.”

“So you...want to be better... _ for _ Tommy?” Ant makes an attempt to pry, to see  _ what  _ exactly Tubbo was getting at. That, and he’d much rather prefer to get this out of the way as soon as possible because  _ damnit they were so close- _

“For Tommy, yeah.” Tubbo hardly moves a muscle as he answers, a dull, hazy lavender gray gaze looking out blankly. 

_ “The egg can make you better!” _ The cloaked being is now in front of the shorter figure, a set of clawed hands resting on his shoulders. With a cheery smile, Bad explains himself. “If you want to be better for Tommy, to get rid of all that nasty trauma, then the egg can help with that Tubbo!”

“That sounds-“

“Too good to be true?  _ I know! _ But listen, just  _ listen! _ ” Bad shakes him ever so slightly, adrenaline buzzing through him to the point where he has to plunge his tail tip into dirt to keep it from lashing about too much. “Is that your truest desire Tubbo? To be the best friend you can be for your Tommy?”

He’s given a response with a single nod.

_ “Good!” _ Bad finally pulls his hands away, outstretching them. “Tubbo you have  _ no idea  _ how fantastic this is! The egg- i-it can show you how to….” 

The increasingly erratic man comes to a stop, expression turning blank and head tilting to the side. There’s a series of small murmurs beneath his breath, along with the occasional nod. After a shudder passes through the demon, his excitement seems to have come to a screeching halt, a far more calm demeanor replacing it.

“So Tubbo...”

_ “Yeah?” _

“You want your trauma gone, right?”

“I- Maybe, yeah.”

“And you want... _ Tommy’s  _ trauma gone,  _ right? _ ”

He had never expressed that, but...that would be great, wouldn’t it? The two of them no longer having to suffer, the  _ suffering he inflicted on tommy…  _ How was he supposed to get rid of it then? How was he supposed to save Tommy when he was the main cause? 

_ How can he even begin to make up for being a terrible friend after what he’s done? _

When Bad spots the beginnings of tears showing up in Tubbo’s eyes, the lavender drifting back to blue, he simply shakes his head. A claw raises up to the brunette’s face, wiping away a tear followed by a long, drawn out shush. 

“There’s a way,”

Tubbo stiffens, all his attention back on Bad. How did he-

“If you let the egg clean your mind, to show you that what happened can be wiped entirely, will you also strive to become a better friend for Tommy?”

There’s another long pause, the warm room growing tense as the pair lock eyes. Bad was expecting an answer with a raised brow while the boy merely stares, the gears in his head grinding and breaking loose bit by bit. Then, his decision reaches him, grasped like the symphony he had been desperately reaching out for minutes ago, voice nothing more than a whisper as he replies.

_ “It’s...all I want.”  _

“Do you know,” Bad sighs, glancing away for a moment. He hadn’t realized how tough this kid would be to crack, but maybe he should’ve seen that coming considering what he’s been through. “Do you know what to do then?”

“...not really.”

“Well,” It’s Antfrost’s turn to speak up, an elbow falling onto Tubbo’s shoulder, not even so much as flinching from the sudden weight leaning on him. “Let’s put it this way, if you’re the source of Tommy’s problems, of his trauma, then the best thing you can do is…?” He extends a paw, wanting him to answer, or the egg to answer  _ for  _ him.

“The best thing I can... _ do… _ ” His brow furrows, gaze drifting back towards the ground in contemplation. What  _ could  _ he do? There was no way to undo the grief that had almost shattered his best friend, and because Tommy was neutral to the egg, it was obvious that it was impossible for him to join alongside him. A bit sad, but a necessary sacrifice for the egg’s best interest.

Tubbo blinks at that, his head shooting up, eyes turning wide as the realization hits him. He wasn’t quite sure if the egg dealt a hand in guiding him to this conclusion, but he silently thanks it anyhow.

“I need to _...t…” _

“Yes?” 

For the first time, Tubbo cracks a smile, one he knows is there. A chuckle bubbles in his throat, a shaky hand coated in dried blood gliding through his hair.

_ “I need to show him mercy.” _

“Exactly!” Both exclaim, hearts leaping for joy at the sight of those last few trickles of ocean blue fading to a deep red. “How would you like to show him mercy, Tubbo?”

It was the  _ best  _ option for a  _ best  _ friend, wasn’t it? There were times where Tommy expressed how in exile, he wanted to stop existing, that the anguish was too much to bear. And perhaps he had a hand in making him feel that way by sending him off, but how was he certain those sentiments hadn’t completely vanished? He can’t let Tommy continue on with this miserable existence, and the egg definitely doesn’t want him to either.

_ Then again, the egg’s desires were his desires after all. _

It’s  _ best,  _ if Tommy doesn’t have to carry that heavy burden anymore. It’s  _ best,  _ if Tubbo is the one to show him  _ mercy _ after being the cause for so long.

It’s for the absolute  _ best  _ that he  _ kills him. _

He wants it to be quick! A single blow and he’d be free! Such a shame he won’t be able to see the land when it’s coated in crimson, but perhaps his ghost will come and visit, to see the beautiful progress they made while he was away! 

_ “I want to show him mercy…”  _ The statement comes out as a low croak, head slowly leaning to the side as his shoulders slump. His mind belonged to the egg now, his very being, his  _ soul  _ would be claimed by the egg when the time came. But as of now, a single, unison desire was shared between them, and that was for Tommy to meet his end.

“Would you like to show him mercy now?” There’s an almost  _ teasing  _ tone in Bad’s question, as if knowing the answer already.

“Yeah,” There’s a soft laugh from the cat as he tugs on Tubbo’s limp arm, trying to spirit him back towards the entrance. “We can bring him down here, and then…”

_ “Then I show him mercy.” _ He repeats it in the exact same tone, unaware of Antfrost trying to direct him towards the exit. It isn’t until Bad gives him a friendly nudge that his feet carry him, staggering ever so slightly. The two older disciples assist him, well aware that it takes a little bit for the egg’s influence to truly become second nature. 

The thought of leaving the egg temporarily displeases Tubbo, that being surrounded by any color  _ besides  _ red would be an insult to it, but at least he’ll get to see Tommy, his dearest friend, and the beautiful red on his shirt…

_ And soon enough his entire being will be showered in red too. _


End file.
